"Shudda, wudda, cudda be Dads": the lived experience of older involuntarily childless men

Hadley, Robin ORCID: https://orcid.org/0000-0003-4254-7648 (2017) "Shudda, wudda, cudda be Dads": the lived experience of older involuntarily childless men. In: British Sociological Association Auto/Biography Group, Summer Residential Conference: Gender and Auto/Biography, 19 July 2017 - 21 July 2017, Dartington Hall, Devon, UK. (Unpublished)

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Abstract

The global trend of a declining fertility rate and an increasingly ageing population has been extensively reported. Childless men are, compared to women, absent from geographical, gerontological, masculinities, psychological, reproductive, and sociological research. These fields have mainly focussed on fatherhood, family and women, with the fertility intentions, history and experience of older men being discounted. The failure to fulfil the status of parenthood may lead to a complex form of bereavement and a significant challenge to individual and cultural identity. This auto/biographical qualitative study used a pluralistic framework drawn from the biographical, feminist, gerontological, and life course approaches. A latent thematic analysis was applied to the semi-structured interviews conducted with 14 men aged between 49 and 82 years. The analysis highlighted the complex intersections between involuntary childlessness and agency, biology, relationships, and socio-cultural structures. This study challenges the stereotype that the social, emotional and relational aspects of involuntary childlessness do not affect men. The men’s attitude to fatherhood changed with age and centred on the theme of the ‘social clock’ that revealed the synergy between an individual and societal morès surrounding parenthood. The participants’ narratives demonstrated the diverse elements that affected the men’s experience of involuntary childlessness: upbringing, economics, timing of events, interpersonal skills, sexual orientation, partner selection, relationship formation and dissolution, bereavement, and the assumption of fertility. The importance of relationship quality was highlighted in the social networks of both those with and without partners. Awareness of ‘outsiderness’ and a fear of being viewed a paedophile were widely reported.